Has just started!

Actually, iam not really sure about the grammar at my above title, anyway it is just another trial to blog in English.



Don’t know from where I shall start! Got lost and many things are crowded in my mind.


Today is my first day at work. I have been called a (training admin support) which is a very new and challenging job for me. I have been introduced to so many new things related to the job. I felt lost from the 1st hour! Iam trying to give myself some kind of peace and saying (go ahead Rahma, You can do It. it’s all a matter of time). I hope that things will move smoothly and I will be admired by my manger.


Sometimes life becomes so ironic as well as so miser in giving you options. With destiny, she is playing a stupid game to examine you. Limiting you in very few choices and just watching your confusion, then after noticing you losing all your energy and power. Both-LIFE AND DISTENY- open many doors at the same time. Now, you are in a situation of having lots of choices and very limited time to choose .And what’s really make you scared, that each chance can never be repeated! Here is the point and the most difficult exam. You have to take the right decision; otherwise you will miss a chance which may not be repeated.


The new job WASN’T the only challenge for me, but also the long way driving from mwalih to alwatiah WAS THE OTHER HORRIBLE CHALLENGE. For a person like me, who really hates driving, has a lack of concentration, and has no sense of direction; it WAS a miracle FOR ME to drive this long distance without being lost. WAW, A CHIVEMENT!


I feel that all what iam doing is adventure, not really sure about the results. Iam trying to make it easy and accept it as it is. Don’t know what will be the coming step and where life is going to push me. And do I really have enough endurance in order to stand any failure!


This morning I was telling a friend at the face book that I am ready to adapt with any situation and I meant it that time. Now iam thinking: can I really do that?


Unfortunately, I have discovered that iam that kind of people who are easily become bored from things they showed lots of interest towards it. This fact makes me feel that iam in big trouble .iam reasoning that to the long period of being jobless. Until this moment and even after having other choices, I still have a deep pain from that worse experience. I have to admit that staying a jobless at home for two years has really destroyed many positive points I used to have. I have never ever suffered from bad memory or lack of remembering many things at the same time. Now I mainly lose my memory. I can’t remember things even if i make a reminder. When I was a student, I used to memorize things the same as it is written at the book, no matter if I understand it or not! I have never struggle in speaking English in front of any one and it wasn’t a big deal with me to make mistakes ,because I knew that iam learning and mistakes are the only way to learn therefore to be different. I don’t want to frustrate myself by this comparison. And I know that I should be more confident about myself ,but I just wanted to know , is this what happening with me is natural or I have something wrong need to be repaired!!


When I set with myself , I think my problem –if it is really a problem or iam just making things complicated- can be summarized in one short sentence which is : I always have a high level of expectation about EVERYTHING in life . I always expect things to be in a high level and keep on dreaming, in other words iam not a realistic person!


Iam angry of myself because many people wish if they could have the chance I have now, and what iam doing is complicating things and mix it together.


I don’t want to say that iam not happy of this position, but I MUST do my best to enjoy it and clear my mind from un wanted thoughts which really destroyed the good ones inside it.


I used to say: whenever there is a will, there will be always a way. Now it is the time to apply that. I have the will, so no need to worry this much about the way. MY LIFE HAS JUST STARTED.


Please friends, whenever you read this, give me your advices and recommendations.


Happy that i got the patience to write this long in English .please wish me best of luck.






7:28pm


20th /9/2011


mawalih